I like to think of myself as an easy-going guy. I try not to get in anybodies way as long as you look after me and my kind. I don’t expect too much from you exactly as long as you deliver what I pay for.
Which brings me to my current gripe session: Cybersmart.
I have been with them since 2006. And I’ve recommended their service to countless people, but I can no longer do such a thing. Since October their service has fallen down a deep precipice.
It first started when they reached their capacity. They applied at Telkom and true to form Telkom didn’t deliver. I can understand that. Telkom doesn’t want to see any other ISP grow! Heaven Forbid.
My problem is that my 4MB line (at about R550pm) was performing worse than my mate’s 384kbps line at Telkom (R199pm).
Things got so bad that I eventually took out a contract at Vodacom for 3G (another endless tale of woes, but for another time). Of course I convinced myself I needed 3G because I’m always traveling and it’s a good thing. And everyone I know knows that I use Cybersmart, because well, I’m a walking, talking billboard for the place.
Well, I’ve used my 3G more in my own office than anywhere else … because my DSL keeps going down.
So when your DSL does go down, you end up phoning Cyber-not-so-smart. The first thing you’ll hear is that for some or other reason some part of their network has gone down (yesterday it was their email).
Then you’re put into a queue where some gorgeous sounding American keeps telling me that I’m number X in the queue. Until you reach Technical Support. Which for some reason is some African guy called Jan who for the umpteenth time cannot spell the word Exposure (my username is webexposure).
They will ALWAYS, ALWAYS tell you that it’s Telkom’s fault and this is usually quite believable. I mean Telkom is a system invented by the Apartheid Nazi Demons-Spies who ruled this land before we had freedom.
So we log a call.
Saturday: First call logged. Cybersmart tells me the account is fine, line is fine. Telkom phones and says: line is fine but reporting loss of power from router. Your router isn’t plugged in. Well, it is. I can see the flashy lights and everything. OK, maybe it was the storm and the router has popped.
Monday: Go out and buy new router. Same problem, except this time I’m down. Not only that but my staff (who work from my home office) cannot do work. So I am now officially paying them to play Playstation3 while I try and get the Internet working. (Don’t jeer at me – we’re an Internet Company – it needs the Internet to function!)
I log another call with Cybersmart. Another guy (not Jan) who cannot spell exposure. *sigh* This time they’ll request Telkom to send a technician out, but really – it does say the router is not switched on.
Tuesday: No call/response from Cybersmart or Telkom. Nothing. Nicks. Nada. Staff have now brought an XBOX to work because (apparently) my PS3 games are boring. I’m sitting in the office swinging from cussing to offering up prayers to God, Jehovah and Allah (covering all my bases you see) – hoping for a resolution.
Call Cybersmart again. Apparently Telkom did a line test and found the fault was loss-of-power. Recommended action: Turn on Router.
Well, it’s 9:15 on Tuesday evening. Still no DSL. Only my shoddy 3G and tomorrow the staff may end up at work with a Nintendo Wii. God alone knows. Or Jehovah. Or Allah.
What do I have to do to get a Telkom Technician to come to my office to sort out the d@mn problem?
Afterthought: Will instruct bank tomorrow to reverse the debit order. Maybe we’ll get some action then.